Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on today’s episode we are going to be talking about “weight loss for health / weight loss to relieve physical pain.” We get this question a lot - It seems as though people want to justify their weight loss if it’s for health - so let’s talk about this. 

No matter what the reason is for wanting to lose weight - dieting/ pursuing weight loss doesn’t work for 80-95% of the population.

This means that if you are focusing on weight loss to improve blood work or reduce knee pain you have the same chance of losing weight and keeping it off as you do if you were pursuing weight loss to change your body size.

Your body can't tell the difference if you are dieting to get a smaller waistline or dieting for health.

Even though this is the case about the pursuit of weight loss - we want to share 3 points on why pursuing weight loss isn't the answer but what you can do instead.

1. No one is saying weight loss wouldn’t help BUT how will you do that?

Just because we aren’t in favor of PURSUING weight loss doesn’t mean we don’t think it could be helpful - maybe some weight loss could help bloodwork? Who knows ? Maybe weight loss could reduce knee pain? Who knows? THE POINT - even if weight loss may help - how are you going to pursue weight loss, keep it off, and live a sustainable life with a healthy mindset around food and your body? Because from the looks of it - our past is a pretty good indicator that diets don’t work and most of the time - we end up heavier after we pursue a diet. In this situation, trying to lose weight for health reasons doesn’t really justify pursuing weight loss this time around. You’ll find yourself obsessing over food, feeling restricted, and in a constant battle with your mind. Do you see how pursuing weight loss will actually backfire? Do you see how it will actually do the opposite of what your intention was to begin with - which was to improve your health. But all of that doesn’t not seem good for your health. Agree? We aren’t being negative Nancies over here - we just want to give it to you straight - in our next point we will share what you CAN do to improve health without the pursuit of weight loss and rigid dieting.

2. Losing fat doesn’t improve blood work, it’s not the weight loss, it's the behaviors that come with the weight loss - moving your body, eating nourishing foods may have you see health improvements, but it’s short term!! It doesn’t work long term and there are so many negative side effects to rigid dieting.

SO without the focus on weight loss here are positive health behaviors that can help - strengthening your muscles, stretching, moving your body in ways you enjoy, adding/ eating nourishing foods AND not restricting any other foods, enjoying life (having fun, connecting with friends/ family) , de-stressing, sleeping more, prioritizing your mental health, going to physical therapy, meditating, working on positive self-talk, going to regular doctor visits (advocating for yourself ie. asking to not be weighed if you don’t want to be, working with doctors that support IE/ HAES (or at least are open to it). You are not limited to this list - there are so many other ways to focus on your true genuine health without the focus on weight loss).

3. If you have been told by your doctor to lose weight to improve x health issues - Ask your doctor about what else you can do other than focus on weight.

If weight loss were the “fix” to all health issues - people who do lose weight / people who live in thinner bodies wouldn’t have health issues - but as we know that’s far from the truth - you can lose weight and be in a thinner body and have any health risk/ issues a person in a larger body has and vice versa.

A couple of amazing doctors to follow on Instagram who are aligned with this message is @fatdoctorUK and @drjoshuawolrich. There are doctors that stand for HAES, there are alternatives to focusing on weight. It’s breaking down the belief systems that we have been taught from diet culture and knowing there is another way to actually care for our health and there are professionals who stand behind it all! It’s not just us sharing our opinion - it’s backed up by legitimate experts and the science proves it too.

So the question for you is- how can you incorporate/ add positive health behaviors into your life and challenge your doctor/ team up with your doctor to create ways in which to honor your health without the diagnoses of weight loss?

Remember this is about adding to your life!

Also we have an exciting announcement  - Our film is now on YOUTUBE - so you’ll be able to easily share it! You can go here to access the film and share it - at bit.ly/tblsdoc

Doors close to our app The UnDiet Collective March 1st!

See you next week!

Honoring fullness:

We get many people who say I can’t seem to honor my fullness, I often go past being full and I just cannot seem to control myself! What is going on?

These people often are allowing all food, honoring their hunger and they are doing the work so what is going on? Why does this piece feel so difficult? 

There are a few reasons this could be happening and we will go through them today and chat about what you can do to take steps in the direction of being at ease with fullness and having it feel much more simple.

The top 3 reasons you might not feel like you can honor your fullness is:

 

Reason #1: We say this all the time but it is the sneakiest part of this work - mental restriction.

 

What does mental restriction sound like:

It's thoughts like:

 “oh i really shouldnt be eating bread again”  

“I’ll just try to be more intuitive tomorrow” 

“I shouldn’t be hungry already!”

All of these judgements can lead to overeating because your body reacts almost the same to mental restriction as it does to physical restriction. This is why people can continue to struggle even though they’re allowing “all the foods”.

So what can happen if you mentally restrict?

 

  • last suppers (body is still expecting to be restricted at some point)
  • Feeling more urgent with food (eating it all now - EVEN THOUGH you technically know you could eat more tomorrow)
  • Consistently overeating

 

How can you begin easing this?

 

  • Listen to your thoughts - do they contain shoulds? What are these shoulds about? Time (I really shouldn't have to eat for a few hours), types of food (I shouldn't be eating carbs again today), amounts (1 cookie is plenty, I shouldn't have eaten 3!!) or other rules?
  • These are then rules that you want to begin shifting even if they rule is just in your brain. If you think you SHOULD only eat one cookie that’s a rule AND ironically it’s more likely to lead you to eat more than one cookie every time because of the restriction. If you TRULY tuned in and said, I can eat as many cookies as I like, let’s start with 1 and see how I feel, if I want more I can have more. Sometimes maybe 3 is awesome, sometimes 1, sometimes maybe none! When true mental and physical permission is present you can then truly listen to your body and let your intuitive eating muscles get stronger!

Reason #2: Clean plate club

 

 

You might be familiar with the term and you might feel like a veteran member at this point. People can be a part of the clean plate club for various reasons:

 

  • They were always told to clear their plate as a kid and now they fear wasting food etc.
  • As dieters we often would plate what we were ALLOWED to have so of course we were going to eat it all, this is all we can have. Now as an UnDieter this tendency may be following you even though you are allowing more food now.
  • You may not be paying attention at all to how you’re feeling when eating and you use the plate being cleared as a signal that you’re done

 

It is FINE to clean your plate but if you find yourself with an empty plate and a stuffed stomach at every meal it’s absolutely something you can look into some more.

How to begin shifting this:

 

  • Dive into what the motivator is for you. Does your clearing of the plate come from childhood? Were you told to never waste food because other children were starving? Do you feel guilt if you throw food away or “waste” it by not eating it?
  • Are you still feeling a scarcity mindset around food and your body just eats whenever food is available because of this?
  • Are you using an empty plate as a signal that the meal is done?

 

Now that you’re more aware of why this is happening you can begin to question your thoughts around this.

Does it really help anyone if I eat food I don’t want? Will it create less waste? How can I save leftovers even if it’s small amounts? Would this be more enjoyable tomorrow when I am less stuffed?

Why do I feel like I can’t just finish this later? I could even eat it before bed if I want? - add thoughts of abundance with the foods you overeat, you can LITERALLY eat them anytime of day, yay being a grown up!

 

REASON 3: You are always distracted

Not that you need to pay full attention at every meal and sit in silence but as dieters we often mindlessly stuffed food into our mouths that we thought we really shouldn't be eating. If you don't pay attention then it isn’t happening right?

When in fact the opposite is what will actually help - TRULY enjoying the foods you are eating particularly if you’re still a little worried about eating them.

As someone who may be reintroducing foods it can be easy to get stuck in a cycle of technically eating the food but kind of feeling bad about it so you just quickly eat it to get it over with.

 

To be able to honor fullness we need to really ENJOY food - savor it and see it for what an amazing thing it is to eat that food, instead of feeling bad about it. If you are going to eat it, eat it with GUSTO! Savor it, relish it, celebrate it! Quit hiding from the foods you’re eating.

How we often typically assume french people eat, that’s how we want to eat here - no apologies, they eat the real rich versions of food and take long lunches to savor it and really enjoy it.

Even though it may be a stereotype, I just can’t imagine someone knocking back a couple croissants in the pantry in france - when there is no guilt or worry about food, you can really enjoy it and therefore TUNE IN more when eating it.

Also if you are savoring the food and being really appreciative of it it's much easier to notice when it stops tasting as good or when you feel satisfied.

Who wants to ruin a delectable meal but feeling overly stuffed from it (all the time, being overly full now and then is completely normal).

These are 3 reasons you might be consistently overeating and we hope they give you some insight into what is going on for you and how you can begin shifting it.

We would love to support you even more in this work in our membership The UnDiet Collective.

Doors are closing on March 1 so we encourage you to take a look before then if you've been considering it - you can learn more about everything that is included with your membership at thebodylovesociety.com/app

We would greatly appreciate it if this podcast helps you at all to leave us a rating and review today - it helps others find this work. THANK YOU!

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - I’m Lauren and this is Jenna. On today’s episode we are going to be talking about eating at night when you’re alone. We wanted to talk about this because this specific theme has come up a handful of times in our community in The UnDiet Collective Intuitive Eating App. 

We get why eating at night when you’re alone feels like a “habit” you want to stop. Maybe there is even some shame that comes up around night time eating - it might feel secretive and like you’re getting away with something that is “bad” and “wrong.”

First, it’s not bad, it’s not wrong, and by no means do you need to guilt and shame yourself every single time this scenario happens.

We want to share ways in which we can help alleviate this situation and make you feel like it’s okay to eat at night but also maybe help you get to the bottom of why this feels like such a problem for you - here are different areas you can explore that you may find helpful.

1st - What do you make “night time eating” mean? What is the energy around it? What is your experience with it? Most likely it’s coming from a place of “I shouldn't be doing this, it’s bad to eat this at night, why do I do this to myself, I told myself I wasn’t going to feel this sick again” etc - there is not only guilt but a lot of judgement.

So the first step to this process around night time eating is to see it in a different light - let’s create some new energy around it, gentle, kind, compassionate energy.

Can you see it as a sacred time for yourself - when you can actually have some time to relax - where you can “turn off” and mentally unload from the day. This is a time to recharge.

If you love to eat during this time - ALLOW yourself to truly enjoy it. Make an empowered choice rather than an effort in trying to stop this nighttime eating. If you allow yourself and embrace this time - it won’t feel so powerful.

Instead of telling yourself “I’m NOT eating at night tomorrow” - say to yourself - “I EXPECT to eat at night tomorrow.” - If I want to eat, I will eat - and I will listen to my body and give myself permission to enjoy.

Here’s a little activity - Get a journal or notebook - write out your old experience with night time eating - talk about the shame, guilt, judgement, whatever comes up for you. Once you are completed with that - rip it up into tiny pieces and throw it away - NEXT - write your new story around night time eating - talk about the allowing, the enjoyment, the sacred time to yourself - write about how compassionate you are for yourself. Create a new loving experience when it comes to night time eating and hold that energy within you..

Okay now - let’s talk about some practical areas in which we can explore to help you see this night time eating in a new light ---

What may be going on in your day  -

Are you eating enough during the day? Eating at night is absolutely okay and if you feel like you are eating more than you’d like - this could be that you’re famished because you didn’t eat enough during the day. You may not even realize it but it’s important to ask yourself if you are feeling satisfied and full after your meals during the day without having the feeling of grazing or like you’re still hungry. At night, once all the distractions are gone - like the kids are in bed, your work day is over, and you get some time to yourself to just relax - you feel the desire to eat because you may just be really hungry!! There’s other things that may be going on which is fine and absolutely “normal”- such as emotional eating or maybe just the desire to enjoy some food and watch some tv - but start becoming aware of how you feel during the day and making sure you are eating enough for your body to feel good and satisfied!

Another question to ask yourself:

Are you allowing the same food during the day that you eat at night? If you only allow certain foods at a certain time of day/ restrict them at times you want - this could very much be why they feel so powerful at night. The next time you find yourself eating a night and feel guilt about - what food are you eating? Ask yourself if you would be totally fine to eat this food any time of the day whenever you want (without guilt attached) - If there is some fear around eating certain foods during the day - make it a point to purposely have this snack, meal, or dessert not at your typical night time routine - you can ALSO have it at night but let’s start adding it into your day and normalize it for you.

Do you feel a sense of scarcity with this food you are eating? Do you feel like you can’t eat this food whenever you want when you want? This may give you a sense of scarcity - scarcity is FUEL for bingeing/ eating more than your body desires (no shame in this but we know this isn’t the goal when allowing yourself to eat - you’d rather enjoy this food without bingeing or feeling overly sick). This is why it’s important to come to a place of ABUNDANCE with this food and all food. If you know it’s available whenever you want and there’s no rules or restrictions around it , you may find yourself eating an amount that feels good.

Another thing - Are you mentally restricting this food even though you are physically allowing it? Sometimes you think, I used to never allow this food, and here I am allowing it but I’m still obsessed. When am I going to get over obsessing? The answer is to stop mentally restricting it. This means that when you eat this food, you have neutral, non judgmental, maybe even loving thoughts around this food. Yes, you are physically allowing yourself to put it in your mouth - the second piece is to mentally tell yourself that you are safe to eat this food and it’s okay to eat this food. You make an empowered choice to eat it and move on while leaving any unwanted thoughts behind. It’s freeing!

These are not rules, these are areas to explore and get curious about! No judgment - there is no timeline to this - just because you listen to this episode doesn’t mean that if you ever feel sick eating at night by yourself again means you are a failure - NO - there is no failing in this work, only learning and exploring yourself and your body. You are retraining your brain, breaking down old belief systems around diet culture, and relearning body signals.

So give yourself compassion and just start with awareness and go from there.

Our Body Image and Intuitive Eating App - The UnDiet Collective has been open for just over a week - and it’s been incredible in there with all the members - lots of support and love vibrating in the community! On Feb 14th at 12pm pacific, we will be raising the prices to The UnDiet Collective - it will never be this price we are offering right now ever again. So if you are wondering about becoming a member, check it out before February 14th at 12pm pacific so you can lock in at this lower price. You can learn all about The Collective at www.thebodylovesociety.com/app - there’s 3 easy steps - go to the link - click on “join the collective” - create an account with an email and password - you’ll get to the homepage on the web version and all you have to do is click on one of the boxes that say “premium” and choose the monthly or annual option - the annual gets you 2.5 months free.

Also - we do want to share that starting February 15th we have our first monthly bonus which is a 5 Day Self-Love intensive - we’ve also added on a new feature in the intuitive eating app - we have a new support group called “Intuitive Eating meal ideas” - this is a place to share ideas as we know lots of us struggle with what the heck to eat! This isn't about calories or nutrition facts - mainly to share ideas on what people are enjoying. The great part - you can opt in to this group or opt out. Only if you find it helpful!

Among the community support groups, there is live coaching, monthly bonuses, and much more! Simple, digestible, high value- without the overwhelm!! Go to www.thebodylovesociety.com/app - prices raise February 14th at 12pm pacific.

See you in the intuitive eating app and see you next week!

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - this is Lauren and Jenna - on today’s episode we are going to be talking all about our Body Image and Intuitive Eating App that is officially LIVE as of Feb 1st, 2021 called The UnDiet Collective!

We want to share the elements of the app and how it will help support you 365 days out of the year.

There are 4 levels of support. 

1st level - UnDiet Dailies

2nd level - Community Support groups 

3rd level - Living Coaching 

4th level - Monthly bonuses and guest expert speakers 

We’ll share more about each level so you can get a feel for what this type of support entails.

 

1.UnDiet Dailies.

 

The intention of the UnDiet Dailies are to give you quick/ simple UnDiet action steps and tips every single day of the week. This is long term work as UnDieters and we want to make it valuable content without the overwhelm. No more feeling “behind” in a course with lots of content to dive through each week. This is about small daily action steps that you can choose to take on or not any day of the week.

Here is the schedule: 

Mondays - UnDiet Prompts 

Tuesdays- Live Coaching 

Wednesdays- UnDiet Action Step 

Thursdays- Live Coaching 

Fridays- FAQ Video 

Saturdays- Weekly check in 

Sundays- Positive Affirmation

Everyday of the week you’ll have something different sent right to your phone. 

How does this help?

This work requires consistency and long term engagement. Meaning doing a 6 week course doesn’t cut it. Think of this work as a slow burn instead of a sprint. You want to be consistently reframing your thoughts, questioning your beliefs and learning about your body and how to best care for it in an intuitive way. That’s what these dailies will help you do!

2. Community Support Groups 

 

This is a place where the entire Collective can build connections/ friendships and also ask any questions that will be answered by us each day. The best part about these groups is that you don’t have to have a Facebook anymore to be a part of it!

How does this help?

It is so important to be in community when you’re doing this work. Why? Because everyone in your real life in likely a dieter and when you’re doing something that no one around you is doing (and that often goes against what mainstream thinks is right) you can get stuck in continually questioning if this work is the right thing to do. When you’re in a community who is doing the same work with counsellors who have expertise in UnDieting and Intuitive eating you can find solace in knowing you’re on the right path.

3. Live Coaching 

 

You’ll be able to submit your questions through our intuitive eating app and we will be going live on Tuesdays and Thursdays to answer your questions. They will be housed in a group called “Live Coaching” so if you can’t watch it live you’ll be able to go into this group and have access to all the live recordings - we will have the questions that are being answered in the post and what time they are being answered so if you don’t feel like watching the whole thing you can skip to the questions you do want to watch. 


How does this help?

Getting your questions answered in real time can be so helpful. Your counsellors are in the group every weekday answering your questions but a typed answer can only provide so much information. When we can interact and talk things through this is when we can share more of the nuance and complexities of this work! Getting this twice a week will be hugely beneficial in moving your forward to being a confident UnDieter.

 

4. Monthly Bonuses and Guest Experts 

 

Every month there will be a unique experience such as a 5 day intensive, Exclusive Workshops, Guest expert speakers, and more! The month of Feb we will be doing a 5 Day Self Love Intensive starting Feb 15th-19th. 

How does this help?

Diving deeper into 1 specific area of UnDieting every month will give you the depth needed to transform your relationship with food and your body without being overwhelming. We can’t all dedicate hrs every week to this work but once a month you can choose to spend a little more time and attention on a specific workshop, guest speaker or intensive that will give you a boost forward on your journey to becoming an UnDieter.

The great thing about The UnDiet Collective is that the more it grows, the more value will be added. We will be able to hire more Intuitive Eating Counselors and guest experts to help support you and the entire Collective ! 

We can’t wait to work with you and remember there is no commitment in the Collective. You can join monthly and cancel at anytime or join yearly at an even more affordable price.

Go to thebodylovesociety.com/app for more information on the collective and we will see you in there!

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on today’s episode we are going to be talking about WEIGHT. Yes, a topic that brings up a lot of controversy due to so many intertwined beliefs that have been created from diet culture, self worth, value etc… 

We get why this would be such a tender topic and we also want to address it head on as we had a lot of drama this past week after posting a couple different posts on Instagram on @thebodylovesociety   

We are going to go through 2 common misconceptions around weight and also share how to shift your mindset in order to see weight in a different way and have it all - wellness and freedom. 

Common misconception #1 - Losing weight is an accomplishment 

The reason losing weight, fitting into your “goal weight” pants, and posting a before and after picture on social media are not accomplishments is because it still puts ALL the focus on your body - all the focus on weight loss, all the value as a person into the size of your body. It still focuses on thinner is “better.” 

This could come off as harsh to some but we really advocate to stop making weight loss an “accomplishment” or “compliment” - weight loss is not a good or bad thing - but what is toxic about it is when humans feel the pressure to constantly change their bodies to fit society standards and to feel worthy. You already are worthy no matter what body you live in! No one is better than another due to a body size. 

It’s important to stop making weight loss something to accomplish and instead celebrate all bodies at any size.

Weight not being an accomplishment doesn’t mean you can’t do all the things you want to do to feel good in your body like - move in ways you enjoy, eat in ways that feel good without restriction - you can still honor your wellness without it being about weight loss - (and yes you could lose weight / or not and that does not matter your body is going to do what it’s going to do) - the focus is how you feel in your body - that can be an accomplishment. The feeling, the positive health behaviors that feel good not forceful, NOT the number on the scale or the size on your pants. 

Striving for a certain number on the scale with strong attachment to the number (and obsessive behaviors that go along with it) is mostly likely a number / size that isn’t sustainable - this means you may work really hard and feel “accomplished” because you lost some weight - and everyone is noticing, complementing, and congratulating you - yes, that may feel great - super validating - why wouldn’t it!? - BUUUT - what if you gain the weight back? What happens to the accomplishment? Compliments? And congratulations? They go away! An accomplishment is not something that can be taken away from you - like graduating from a school, course, or program. - Once you graduate you can't undergraduate - no one is going to say congrats and then take it away in the future - weight loss is conditional to get a congrats - it’s ONLY if the number on the scale goes down and ONLY if you look thinner - if that changes - people get silent. 

What’s the shift: Un-attach yourself from a certain size / number on the scale - What would you like to accomplish without it being about or number or size? What makes you feel good? We aren’t trying to take a sense of accomplishment away from you - we want you to feel accomplished in ways that serve you - such as:

“I feel so accomplished that I’m not dieting anymore and I’m eating intuitively.”

“ I feel so accomplished that I made it to the top of the mountain, it felt so enjoyable to hike with my friend and move my body!”

“I feel so accomplished that I added some veggies into my week with a new recipe I enjoyed.” 

“I feel so accomplished that I ate a delicious scone with my coffee for breakfast and for lunch I naturally craved and wanted a delicious chicken salad with all the things on it.” 

See how this doesn’t have to be about weight AND it can still be about wellness and feeling good - while still enjoying french fries donuts and pizza too of course! THAT is wellness without the obsession. And it doesn’t focus on making the core accomplishment about weight loss. Wellness and freedom! 

 

Common misconception #2 - Losing weight for health is different than losing weight to be thinner 

We get this a lot - but what if I NEED to lose weight, what if I want to lose weight for health reasons?

The reason we say that losing weight for health reasons vs because you want to look a certain way doesn't make a difference is because of biology. Whether you are restricting food, working out more and pursuing weight loss because you feel you need to for your health or because you want to look thinner, your body reacts the same. Slowed metabolism, food preoccupation, binge eating etc. Your motivation, however “wholesome” does not change the effectiveness or lack thereof of pursuing weight loss.

Particularly if you’ve been pursuing weight loss for a long time already - reflect on how that has gone… that’s how it will continue to go if you are focused on the weight. 

Also it is nearly impossible to separate diet culture from your desire to lose weight even if it is for health because we’ve been told our whole lives that weight loss = health which is often not the case.

This is not to say you cannot work on feeling better and improving aspects of your health! Take on health behaviors that feel enjoyable to you, like adding nourishing foods, moving your body, sleeping more, resting, reducing stress, having more social connection - this can ALL improve your health whether weight loss comes along with it or not. 

One thing to mention that speaks to this misconception - @haesstudentdoctor shared on her instagram stories the other day that a new CNN article that promotes weight loss which is getting a lot of attention right now -- it was saying that losing weight does improve health (you can read more details on her page), HOWEVER the people who they studied were people in larger bodies and people in smaller bodies - who have always been THIN!! Not people who have lost weight and their health improved. Why don't they study people who have lost weight? Because they cannot find enough people who have lost weight and kept it off. Does this not speak volumes?? Yes higher weight does have correlation with certain health issues but that doesn't mean that all people at a higher weight can lose the weight and then have the same health correlation as someone who has been thin their whole lives. 

The correlation of health issues with higher weight Also does not consider weight cycling, weight stigma and fatphobia which have all been shown to affect health negatively.

In other words, the science behind weight loss being the answer to health is highly distorted and not something you should hang your hat on.

Moral of the story: take care of the body you have now and stop focusing on the weight if you want to actually improve your health!!

To wrap up --- we would love to share about the UnDiet collective because we GET that weight is a really hard part of this journey and in the app we have a specific support group for this. The weight concerns support group is separate from our main community so you can share freely (and respectfully) about your concerns and struggles, get coaching on how to move forward AND if you are not wanting to talk about weight or hear others struggles in this phase of your journey you can opt out of that group. This allows you to do the work you need to do to heal without unnecessary triggers. 

The app is open in less than a week!!

Be sure to register to get all the details once it’s available at bit.ly/tblsappwaitlist

See you next week when the app and documentary are up and running! We can’t wait!

4 Common Barriers Preventing You from Becoming an Intuitive Eater

Hi Welcome to How to love your body. I'm Lauren McAulay and this is Jenna Free and we are intuitive eating counsellors from The Body Love Society and the app The UnDiet Collective.

This podcast is for you if you are working to take action in becoming an intuitive eater and undieter instead of just constantly learning about it and listening to 100652 interviews.

This podcast is brought to you by our NEW intuitive eating quiz that you can take at bit.ly/undietquiz

Take the quick quiz to know what your barrier is in the way that you’re tackling this journey.

Lets dive in to todays episode.

We are talking about 4 barriers that can hold people up from finding food and body freedom. We are talking about the WAY that you’re going about it.

UnDieting is SO different than dieting that we really need to tackle it in a different way and this might not even occur to a dieter because its just the way we think!

1. The first barrier is:

Consistency and Longevity

This is the #1 thing that gets people stuck in limbo, not dieting but not getting to where they want to go (feeling like food is easy and theyre at peace in their bodies).

Where dieters get stuck:

We’ve been used to hard sprints and then falling off the wagon. Think 30 day challenges, having a personal trainer for 3 months or starting weight watchers with all your efforts just to quit a month later.

This is NOT the energy that will work in becoming an intuitive eater.

The way you need to tackle this work is to truly understand that this is the rest of your life - don’t obsess over this thinking you’re going to crack the code in 2 months, everything will be perfect and you can then stop thinking about it at all.

It’s a slow burn.

It’s about daily, small steps forward. 

You NEED the time to explore what works for you, to dive deep into the mindset work and to let time reveal to you where your struggles are and what you still need to work on.

If you go too hard too fast you will burn out, think - this doesn’t work and move on, probably back to another diet and that is the last thing we want for you.

So the next time you’re freaking out about this not happening fast enough remember - I’ve got the rest of my life to continue to work on this (of course it gets easier with time and you’ll master certain things but there will always be something you’re working on especially when it comes to mindset). 

Also reflect, am I doing something daily to get me to where I want to go? THIS is a key component of this work.

2. The second barrier is:

Community

This is a lonely road to take. I’m sure you’ve noticed that, everyone around you is counting their points and talking about how they need to be good today --- and you’re pulling your hair out. 

Here’s why this might be holding up your progress.

When no one around you gets it, and might be actively pushing against or disagreeing with what you’re doing it’s difficult to be confident enough in what you’re doing to move forward. If you keep thinking - am I crazy? Is this not the right thing? Maybe I should be doing that program with my friend, look how good she looks?

It keeps you in limbo. You need a group that GETS IT. People who can reassure you when it’s tough and celebrate your wins because we KNOW what a win it is to be able to have cookies in the house and not eat them all the first day.

Community will give you the time and space to build up your conviction enough to be able to set and hold your boundaries with the dieters around you.

So if you are feeling in limbo or are often questioning what you’re doing look around you - do you have community to reach out to and get support from?

3. The third barrier is:

Action (or lack there of)

Information overload is a HUGE trap that UnDieters can get stuck in. Dieting taught us just learn all the things, know the foods to eat that are good and bad and you will master your body!

This is not how Intuitive Eating or UnDieting works and it’s why we’ve worked with many clients that have been working at this for a year or more but it’s still not clicking, it’s all just information in their minds. They GET IT and want it but it just isn’t translating to embodying this work and living an intuitive life.

You need to start taking action and implementing this work into your life. But that can be really hard when you read a 200 page book, love the info but then think - wait, where do I even start??

If you’ve been at this for a while ask yourself - am I stuck in information overload where it feels like I’m progressing but then when I’m done the book or even listening to a podcast I don’t actually take much action and then I’m back where I started…

Taking one small action is going to be worth more than ALL the IE knowledge out there.

 

4. The last barrier is:

Affordability

This one is less in our control and more of a logistical barrier. But hello, one therapy session can be upwards of $200… and one session is amazing as we are strong advocates of therapy but one session isn’t the end of all your healing and transformation. 

If this has been a barrier please know it’s not just you, privilege is a big part of this work. Yeah if you can afford to work with someone privately that’s amazing and is such a big help (but even then it’s usually 50 mins a week, where does your support come from the other 167 hrs a week).

So if you are working with someone 1:1 that’s so great AND you may be searching for some kind of support on the other 6 days you aren’t with your coach/ therapist. 

If you aren’t working with someone 1:1 / some group program because it’s just too much to invest - that’s okay too - there is something out there for you that will take care of this barrier. Something we are working on! 

 

This is why we wanted to create this quiz “Find the 1 ingredient you're missing that will make Intuitive Eating easier.” This will help you get to the bottom of what the number one thing is that will help you in your process with Intuitive Eating and UnDieting. Once you take the quiz and get your 1 ingredient, the quiz will give you action steps on how to keep moving forward. You can take the quiz at bit.ly/undietquiz

Reach out and let us know if you have any q’s- follow us on @theundietcollective if you haven’t yet. 

See you next week! 

Welcome to How to Love Your Body on Today’s episode we are going to be talking about how to tell if you are listening to your body or listening to your head. There are so many tiny nuances in IE and this is one of them.

This is actually a really important distinction between the two. Yes our body and our brains come together and make decisions - so really we are using both when choosing what we want to eat. 

But if we skip our body's input when choosing food that is when we most likely hear “I’m so full, why do I always do that, I’m allowing all food but this doesn’t feel good.” Of course there is nothing wrong with any of that - you can be full, it’s okay if you “do that”, and it’s also okay not to feel good - yeah it’s not comfortable but it doesn’t mean you're horrible and a failure. 

Lauren's story: 

So we talk about this often but really how this came to be is that I experienced this first hand just a couple of nights ago- I kinda had an off day with eating, I ate enough but it just wasn’t as satisfying because xyz and all the things that don’t really matter - when it came to dinner time - I was feeding the kids and also sitting to eat myself and although I was eating something I enjoyed my brain was grazing. I was wondering if I should eat more of the same thing or get something sweet or when the kids go to bed to make myself another snack or something - I was searching and searching and was quite annoyed because this isn’t something that usually happens to me after dinner - usually after dinner I feel complete - I’ve eaten enough that satisfies me, i get the kids to bed, and after that I usually have some chocolate or ice cream and that feels great. So when my “typical” night wasn’t happening - I was annoyed! I was checking in and asking myself what I need? If I need to go eat something sweet right now - just go and do it. I can also have something after the kids go to bed - I was allowing but it still didn't feel “right” - I was in my head. I also realized that i was feeling a little off that night - I was home with the kids alone - I was feeling certain emotions about certain things - which is fine - and then I was like okay well maybe I’m feeling some feelings and I just need some food to comfort me - I then said, okay well if you need to eat that’s fine - go ahead and do it! There’s nothing wrong with that - I was giving myself full permission to do whatever I needed to do - and then I asked myself how does my body feel? And that was the shift right there. I literally felt myself drop from my head into my body. I realized all the chatter was all going on up in my head. I wasn’t considering my body at all. When I dropped into my body I could tell that I actually felt content and wasn’t actually hungry - I still gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted / emotionally eat if I wanted to but since I was back in my body I realized eating something wouldn’t “fix” anything - because I wasn’t actually hungry - it would have not made me feel good in my body because actually my dinner was satisfying and filling. 

This may seem like a story that has an intention of getting yourself not to eat something - that’s not the case here - because later when the kids went to bed I went and got an ice cream because I was ready for it (taste buds and body!)

So why share this - I felt the shift between my head and my body so intensely - like it was a visceral AH HA moment that I was like “ohhhhhh wooooow I didn’t even realize how stuck I was in my head” - dropping into your body is so important when Intuitive Eating… 

Jenna’s story: 

I vividly remember one time when I was at Starbucks - of course and I was in line (pre pandemic) and I was waiting thinking … ugh I don't feel like a coffee but I want one,,, and I was debating if i should leave or stay. Starbucks is my favorite and I did want a coffee but it was like my body was screaming at me, no thank you that would not feel good.

But I stayed in line, my mind thinking hmmm what's going on here and then when I thought of an iced coffee my body was like yes ok I can get on board with that. 

I was hot.

I was too hot and thinking of a coffee made me feel a little ill  but when I switched it to an iced coffee in my thoughts my body eased into it.

This work is so intangible in so many ways so these stories might sound like we’re being imaginative but my body literally leaned into it when I thought of an iced coffee and my stomach felt queasy when I was thinking about a latte. 

So here are 3 steps to drop into your body and not live in your head when choosing food/ eating food. 

Step 1: Pretend like there’s an off switch and from the head up you turn it off - it goes dark - and from the neck down you have an on switch - and the light is on - you are only focusing what is going on from the neck down. 

Step 2: When you are choosing to eat / want more of something / feeling grazy - instead of listening to your thoughts - ask your body some questions.(Remember your head is “dark” the switch is turned off - you can’t be in there for the time being ) - Your body is the only thing powered on-  What sensations do I feel in my body? What is my stomach feeling like? This step it to get aware of what’s going on in your body and how you are feeling. 

Step 3: Pretend as if you are eating the food you want - imagine tasting it. Imagine what it would feel like in your body - do you have a sense of - yes that feels good or hmmm I don't think that will feel great. It doesn't matter what you choose to eat! This is just getting you to really tune into your body. 

Can you relate to saying -- I just can’t have X in my house - I can stop when I eat other things but X is impossible for me - We’d have to question that - next time you eat this thing - go through these 3 steps and drop into your body while eating them. Before/ during/after you eat - DROP in and see what comes from it! 

Keep reminding yourself of the 3 steps and use it as gaining more awareness - it doesn’t mean this will make you eat less - it may mean you want to eat more! It can be anything! Also, you can absolutely choose to eat something even if your body is saying im full - emotionally eating is absolutely acceptable too even if your body doesn’t want the whole pint of ice cream - if you choose that - it’s okay!! This is about helping you make empowered choices - instead of being unaware - you get to have full awareness of what is going on in your body and your brain and make the choice - and whatever that choice is - is YOUR choice. 

Our app, The UnDiet Collective launches in the app store on Feb 1 ! We can’t wait to share it with you - we’ll be rolling out more details in the next few weeks but think easy access to intuitive eating, body image, mindset, and community support at the tips of your fingers - OFF Facebook, that gives you small actions steps and tips without making it overwhelming or confusing. It’s a one stop shop for all your needs when continuing the process in becoming an UnDieter - not to mention it’s affordable and high value. 

Get on the waitlist - bit.ly/tblsappwaitlist  and follow us on instagram @theundietcollective to get an exclusive offer on Feb 1 only for those following this account.

Hello and welcome to How to love your body, welcome to our first episode of 2021! Today we are talking about new year’s resolutions why we keep doing them even when they don’t work and what we can do instead!

1. We’re sold the idea of a fresh start when the calendar turns to January, we think things will be different this time, the things in our life we don’t like will shift and we will be new people! (Also being told that weight loss is life changing doesn’t help)

The first step here is just realizing this isn't true. The best way to do this is to look at your own evidence. How have the new year’s of your past been? Were they profound shifts that gave you a new life every year? Probably not. … And there isn’t something you haven't figured out yet that will make it different. It’s just that a change in the calendar year doesn't actually have an effect on anything at all. If you want to make changes in an area of your life, just do it when you want to do it. No need to wait for new years. This just leads to the whole “Ill start again on Monday effect”, especially when it comes to dieting, new years is the ultimate Monday. This leads people to having a last supper for ALL of december with the promise of a fresh new start on Jan 1 ! This all or nothing thinking is not helpful. Step 1 in getting out of the new years resolution rut is to stop giving January so much significance!

2. The New Year seems like a good time to get motivated and dive into something that gives us purpose and feelings of success. This is a HUGE driver of why people continue dieting long after it feels good and we trudge through even with all of the negative side effects.

With a lot of people we work with . they share that not dieting just feels complacent, it’s boring, it’s stagnant, it can feel like giving up or letting yourself go. We are used to drama and so called accomplishments when it comes to what we eat and what we weigh. This can be addicting even when its negatively affecting you..

The key here is to foster these natural desires of achievement, success, progression and purpose into something more worthwhile (and effective). 

This doesn’t mean shifting one obsession for another but having something you’re working towards or working on can give us so much energy and excitement. For Lauren and I that definitely shifted from dieting to this work. Instead of feeling like I always want to improve and be working on my body, I have this amazing work to continue getting better at, to share new things and create new things for you and it does give me a sense of purpose and progress that dieting used to (but in a much healthier way).

What about finding that for yourself this year? What is something you want to work towards that takes effort and time? It can be simple like learning to play the ukulele or learning how to knit, it could be starting a business or going back to school. Whatever it is, pick something that sounds exciting to you, makes you want to keep working at it, and gives you joy and a sense of accomplishment as you continue to work towards something.

3. Most resolutions are fear based/ have a fixing energy. Our society runs like this so this is how we make resolutions - media tells us to buy this and buy that to fix these things about yourself so that is how we tackle resolutions. That never works long term - so we are motivated to make a resolution from a sense of lack and needing to fix something that is negative about ourselves but this burns out quickly. 

You can still do something new in the new year without it being about fixing, instead it can be about self exploration and adding good things into your life.

A great new resource we have for this is our UnDiet January Calendar, it gives you one small thing to do each day to work towards being an UnDieter. It includes intuitive eating, body image, self care and gentle movement. 

You can grab that at bit.ly/undietjan 

PS - We started a new instagram account for our upcoming app called The UnDiet Collective so definitely come join us on there! - this is also where you can watch the trailer for our upcoming documentary called Behind the Before and After!

Today's episode is a replay on Improving your body image. We go through the different areas of body image and many tips on how to work through the struggles.

If you want to specifically work on body image we tackle this in our app called The UnDiet Collective.

December 22, 2020

Ep 138 - Intuitive Eating 101

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on today’s episode we are going to bring it back to the basics and talk about What is Intuitive Eating? We want to share the 10 principles with you that were created by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch - These are amazing principles! We also want to share that there is more to these principles in this work.

In the work that we do at the body love society we use two terms, UnDieting and intuitive eating. In essence they’re really the same thing, getting away from dieting and listening to your body so you can take great care of yourself without the focus being on weight.

At the core it’s really about thinking in a new way that is based on science, compassion and sustainability. A life of wellness that isn’t fuelled by diet culture’s obsession with thinness.

The reason this is important work is because it can be so easy to live in diet culture, diet decade after decade, have it not work long term, feel like a failure and keep going around and around in the diet cycle without ever KNOWING there’s another way, without questioning if this is actually damaging our bodies and mental health.

That being said - what is intuitive eating? It is the base of our work so it’s important to talk about.

Intuitive Eating is a concept by registered dietitians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, first published in 1995. They put it together into ten principles and laid it out so people understand it but it TRULY is intuitive. Many people do these things naturally if diet culture didn’t mess them up too much. So it is a naturally occurring way of being but Evelyn and Elyse put it together beautifully so we can all benefit from it.

The 10 principles of IE are:

Reject the Diet Mentality (THE MOST IMPORTANT!)

Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you the false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. Get angry at diet culture that promotes weight loss and the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet or food plan might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.

2. Honor Your Hunger

Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise you can trigger a primal drive to overeat. Once you reach the moment of excessive hunger, all intentions of moderate, conscious eating are fleeting and irrelevant. Learning to honor this first biological signal sets the stage for rebuilding trust in yourself and in food.

3. Make Peace with Food

Call a truce; stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing. When you finally “give in” to your forbidden foods, eating will be experienced with such intensity it usually results in Last Supper overeating and overwhelming guilt.

4. Challenge the Food Police

Scream a loud no to thoughts in your head that declare you’re “good” for eating minimal calories or “bad” because you ate a piece of chocolate cake. The food police monitor the unreasonable rules that diet culture has created. The police station is housed deep in your psyche, and its loudspeaker shouts negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments. Chasing the food police away is a critical step in returning to Intuitive Eating. 

5. Discover the Satisfaction Factor

The Japanese have the wisdom to keep pleasure as one of their goals of healthy living. In our compulsion to comply with diet culture, we often overlook one of the most basic gifts of existence—the pleasure and satisfaction that can be found in the eating experience. When you eat what you really want, in an environment that is inviting, the pleasure you derive will be a powerful force in helping you feel satisfied and content. By providing this experience for yourself, you will find that it takes just the right amount of food for you to decide you’ve had “enough.”

6. Feel Your Fullness

In order to honor your fullness, you need to trust that you will give yourself the foods that you desire.  Listen for the body signals that tell you that you are no longer hungry. Observe the signs that show that you’re comfortably full. Pause in the middle of eating and ask yourself how the food tastes, and what your current hunger level is. 

7. Cope with Your Emotions with Kindness

First, recognize that food restriction, both physically and mentally, can, in and of itself, trigger loss of control, which can feel like emotional eating. Find kind ways to comfort, nurture, distract, and resolve your issues. Anxiety, loneliness, boredom, and anger are emotions we all experience throughout life. Each has its own trigger, and each has its own appeasement. Food won’t fix any of these feelings. It may comfort for the short term, distract from the pain, or even numb you. But food won’t solve the problem. If anything, eating for an emotional hunger may only make you feel worse in the long run. You’ll ultimately have to deal with the source of the emotion.

8. Respect Your Body

Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally futile (and uncomfortable) to have a similar expectation about body size. But mostly, respect your body so you can feel better about who you are. It’s hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical of your body size or shape. All bodies deserve dignity.

9. Movement—Feel the Difference

Forget militant exercise. Just get active and feel the difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie-burning effect of exercise. If you focus on how you feel from working out, such as energized, it can make the difference between rolling out of bed for a brisk morning walk or hitting the snooze alarm.

10. Honor Your Health—Gentle Nutrition

Make food choices that honor your health and taste buds while making you feel good. Remember that you don’t have to eat perfectly to be healthy. You will not suddenly get a nutrient deficiency or become unhealthy, from one snack, one meal, or one day of eating. It’s what you eat consistently over time that matters. Progress, not perfection, is what counts. 

The only downfall of this way of laying this work out is that dieters come to this work looking for a solution but since they think like a dieter they can often turn the 10 principles into rules which results in not being an intuitive eater but instead following the “hunger fullness diet”. THIS is not food and body freedom, which is our ultimate goal for the people we work with.

What we do is build from there with a LOT of mindset work, nuance and action steps so that you can begin implementing this work and not just LEARNING more about it.

If you KNOW intuitive eating is right for you, you love the idea of food and body freedom and you have all the KNOWLEDGE, you just don’t know where to begin or you’re feeling stuck, you are not alone and this is what we want to help with in the new year!

To get the details first when our app is released on Feb 1 you do that at bit.ly/tblsappwaitlist 

We will be sending out ALL the details about this soon! (Think MAXIMUM support for minimum cost) our goal is to make this work accessible to every single person who wants it!

Hope you can make the best of this tough holiday season and we will see you on January 5th for our first episode of 2021! (We’ll be reposting a popular episode next week).

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